You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
