shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
