I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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