i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i will never coherently bang her
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
