Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I touched a dick in church today
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
