He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
