Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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