New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
