The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize