I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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