I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hell yes lets make some ravioli
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize