Soap is not a condiment
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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