at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
