Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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