So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this will be a night to untag.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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