this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
