We got so high we made milksteak
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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