I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.