The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.