he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.