Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

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  (860): I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/zegq
  Replies (17) Good night (4241) Bad night (500)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.

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  (940): talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex. http://tfl.nu/816e
  Replies (21) Good night (4339) Bad night (1135)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

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  (306): I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters. http://tfl.nu/tngh
  Replies (16) Good night (944) Bad night (7974)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

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  (847): You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive. http://tfl.nu/z8kz
  Replies (19) Good night (7098) Bad night (1180)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer

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  (708): youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer http://tfl.nu/xxdd
  Replies (31) Good night (11070) Bad night (1287)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.

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  (605): For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell. http://tfl.nu/5mii
  Replies (7) Good night (3372) Bad night (1443)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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  (918): I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out. http://tfl.nu/s7ox
  Replies (6) Good night (1211) Bad night (2771)
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  (760): View more from California

  searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this

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  (760): searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this http://tfl.nu/chn0
  Replies (10) Good night (3097) Bad night (1333)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.

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  (785): Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini. http://tfl.nu/90ss
  Replies (10) Good night (3307) Bad night (595)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world

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  (561): So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world http://tfl.nu/2aj7
  Replies (2) Good night (1111) Bad night (656)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.

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  (480): I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends. http://tfl.nu/9x75
  Replies (11) Good night (769) Bad night (3383)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.

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  (910): once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits. http://tfl.nu/8psa
  Replies (2) Good night (1198) Bad night (434)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up

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  (903): Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up http://tfl.nu/zu39
  Replies (5) Good night (1136) Bad night (467)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

  (226): View more from Ontario

  did I at least say anything...

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

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  (519): we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom... (226): did I at least say anything... (519): you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living http://tfl.nu/vjjh
  Replies (6) Good night (1972) Bad night (397)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer

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  (716): Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer http://tfl.nu/jd4w
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (179)

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