talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Someone shit on the floor
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize