im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
