he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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