Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
