Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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