all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sext me about skeletons
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
