Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
