Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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