i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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