Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
