The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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