Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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