Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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