I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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