I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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