i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
