I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
