This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
