Non-Jews are for practice
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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