wrigley field is MILF paradise
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
