Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
