you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
