if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
