counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
