Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
