I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
