i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
