The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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