I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
