I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
