I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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