As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
