Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
