just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I will be naked everywhere
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
