Have you finally orgasmed yet?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
