I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
