Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
