dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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