I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
